The book of Psalms is the prayer book of the Bible. If you are struggling to connect with God, the Psalms are a way to return to praise and gratitude. In most of the Psalms of lament, the Psalmist ends with praise in God, no matter how much he is suffering at the beginning of the Psalm. For example, in Psalm 22, a foreshadowing of Jesus’ words on the cross, David begins with, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me (v. 1)”, yet progresses to, “From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you, I will fulfill my vows (v. 25)”. The Psalms remind us, that, even in the midst of darkness, God is still faithful.
However, the one Psalm that does not end with praise is Psalm 88, and that Psalm resonates with me acutely. Written by Heman the Ezrahite, the Psalm unflinchingly expresses lament and despair:
“1 Lord, you are the God who saves me;
day and night I cry out to you.
2 May my prayer come before you;
turn your ear to my cry.
3 I am overwhelmed with troubles
and my life draws near to death.
4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit;
I am like one without strength.
5 I am set apart with the dead,
like the slain who lie in the grave,
whom you remember no more,
who are cut off from your care.
6 You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
7 Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.[d]
8 You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
9 my eyes are dim with grief.
I call to you, Lord, every day;
I spread out my hands to you.
10 Do you show your wonders to the dead?
Do their spirits rise up and praise you?
11 Is your love declared in the grave,
your faithfulness in Destruction[e]?
12 Are your wonders known in the place of darkness,
or your righteous deeds in the land of oblivion?
13 But I cry to you for help, Lord;
in the morning my prayer comes before you.
14 Why, Lord, do you reject me
and hide your face from me?
15 From my youth I have suffered and been close to death;
I have borne your terrors and am in despair.
16 Your wrath has swept over me;
your terrors have destroyed me.
17 All day long they surround me like a flood;
they have completely engulfed me.
18 You have taken from me friend and neighbor—
darkness is my closest friend.”
I have definitely had some dark days. There have been days when I don’t have a word of praise to the LORD, even though I know intellectually that He is good. I know I have salvation, a church family, etc., but sometimes it is difficult to feel that.
I admit that I struggle with feeling close to God. I understand we have the body of believers to show us the love of Christ, but I can never let go of the desire to physically be with God; give him a hug, go for coffee, etc. Sadly, that is not possible on this earth. And then sometimes the notion becomes, “If we have to wait until heaven to meet Jesus face-to-face, what’s the point of being alive now?”, and life feels meaningless and heavy.
Psalm 88 offers profound comfort to those who are suffering. It shows that it’s ok to be honest with God. That you can bring him your pain and suffering, and he will not reject you. He welcomes honest lament. The fact that this Psalm is in the Bible is not an accident. Those who put the Bible together, could have omitted it in favor of only publishing Psalms like Psalm 22 to show the ideal progression of pain for Christians. But that is not the case. This Psalm is still here. And it gives me hope. It shows me that I don’t have to pray in a certain formula to be accepted by God.
As someone who struggles with OCD, my thoughts go crazy sometimes, especially regarding religion. Pushing through the layers of intrusive thoughts can be exhausting. I wonder if I am listening to Satan, I wonder if God only accepts me if I do the right thing, pray in a certain order or for a certain amount of time. Psalm 88 shows me that my thinking is untrue: there is no correct way to pray. The point of prayer is the spend time with God and let him know what you are going through. Because if we can’t be 100% honest with God, who can we be honest with?
So much of life is spent performing to be acceptable, especially at church. We want to dress well, be friendly, smile, tell others that things are going well. I at least worry about burdening others and sometimes hold onto things that I should share. And friends have limits to the support they can provide; they have their own lives, responsibilities, families, etc. And so, in that moment, the only one we can really open up to is God, with the help of the Holy Spirit. This principle is true even if we feel as though God is distant. Because, although he’s always there, it often feels like he’s not.
For me, at least, praying Psalm 88 is a way for me to draw near to God when life feels too hard and I don’t know what to pray. And usually, through pouring my heart out to God, I feel closer to God. It’s like I’ve taken the first step to meet with God, and he honors this by coming close to me and reminding me that he is the faithful one. Often, God does not remove our struggles but walks with us through them.
Thankfully, I have not had a Psalm 88 day in a long time. But you can bet that the next time I feel hopeless, far from God, and overwhelmed, I will pray this Psalm again. And I hope the same is true for you, if things feel hopeless. Don’t forget, ok? This Psalm is truly a lifeline.
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